I don’t fly often, we travel mostly in-state and being in Florida, we have so much to do within a reasonable driving distance. However, when I must travel by air there are two airlines I absolutely refuse to use unless I’m given no choice. They are Southwest and JetBlue.
JetBlue and I have a negative history. In 2006, I was on a business flight and my luggage, containing some expensive clothing and electronics (plus my medication) was stolen and never recovered. JetBlue didn’t give a rats ass about any of this, especially my medication problem (which I found most troubling) and offered $50 in compensation. The total value of items stolen was over $1000. I even had a JetBlue AmEx at the time and converted it to a different AmEx out of spite. To date, I haven’t flown with them and never will.
Southwest on the other hand, I tried when we went to Vegas last. We decided to do a quick trip to Denver to get our “weed on” and it was very cheap to fly from Vegas to Denver in the morning, and back to Vegas the next morning. It was then I first experienced the free for all madness that is Southwest. People line up to get on those planes like they are handing out free Playstation 5 Pros with lifetime subscriptions to PlayStation Plus service. Utter madness, people pushing and being rude so they can get a seat on a plane. It never made sense why as we’re all going to the same place on the same plane, and it wasn’t an oversold flight – so all was well, people stress for no reason. I swore after that trip, we’d never fly with them again just because it was so stressful.
Since then, I’ve been fortunate to avoid Southwest. That was until I had to do some business travel. I would have rather paid for my own flights, but with it having been so close to the holidays, it was out of the question. The flight from my hometown to the business destination was fine, which was 100% surprising. I say this because of the previous experience mentioned and because there were 2-3 infants on board. Fortunately, I had borrowed my partners Bose QuietComfort Ultra Earbuds are not only amazing for blocking the sound of the rushing air around the jet, but they completely block out the sound of screaming children (and nasty karens, 😁). I had no idea the babies were even screaming until I paused my tunes and took out the right earbud so I could tell the air hostess what I would like to drink. Simply en fuego!
That brings me to the return journey. Ugh.
First leg of the flight, just fine. I get to my connecting gate and they announce they’ll be boarding soon so I decide to go queue. I had boarding group A08. When I flew out for this trip, they called boarding groups A01 to A30, then so forth. That was after anyone who had pre-boarding, like elderly or disabled people, or people who need assistance getting down the jetway and to their seat. I’m standing there listening to music and this older lady comes up to me and does the head wobble while mouthing “excuse me” to get my attention. Removing my earbud, I said to her “Hi, sorry I was listening to music. Did you say something?”. Our conversation proceeds as follows:
Her: <In demanding and entitled Karen tone> “What boarding group are you?”.
Me: <Years of customer service training kicking in, in a normal tone> “A-something or other.”
Her: <Attitude booting up, tone becoming worse> “No, what number specifically.”
Me: “A-something or other.”
Her: “Well, I’m A01, so I’m cutting in front of you.”
Me: <Wanting to laugh out loud at Harry Potter and the Audacity of this Bitch> “Sure, if that makes you feel better. I think they just call A, then B, then C, and so on.”
Her: “It’s how it works, I’ve been flying for 30 years, I would know”.
Me: <Rolling eyes, a smirk on my face> “Okay, well, we’re all going to the same place, but like I said, if it makes you feel better go ahead.” And I visibly turned my phone on, un-paused my music, and put the earbud back in my ears.
I could tell she was still rambling and I just had this smirk on my face while pointing to my ear mouthing the phrase “I can’t hear you”.
They began boarding A-group and this Karen literally rushes to the door like they were handing out a lifetime supply of MAC Cosmetics and BOTOX if you’re the first one to board. As I’m boarding, I scan the jet to see where she ended up – and you’ll never guess where this woman sat….
THE BACK! She cut in front of me, perhaps justly, perhaps not, and bum rushed the gate to be the first one on the plane (that wasn’t in need of boarding assistance) to go all the way to the back. She saw me looking at her and gave me this smirk. I just rolled my eyes and sat down.
So, here’s to you Karen! I hope you continue to have 30 more years of flights where you have the pleasure of being all the way in the back. 🥂